Living Wholeheartedly

I decided to begin a class with the single women in my ministry that was based on my on-going online ecourse that time (2014). We are now in Session 8 and we are getting so much out of it and we are getting more connected as friends definitely.

They are single mature women ages 40-60 years old and I am super humbled and privileged to be leading this group of awesome amazing women. (I may want to tell you more about them in my future post.)

So going back,

Some of you might have heard about “The Gift of Imperfectio -eCourse by Breńe Brown together with Oprah Winfrey.  

Since I am blogging my progress in being wholehearted in this blog, I thought of putting in as well the materials that I use to teach the wonderful women in my ministry. Hopefully in some ways you guys can benefit too.

Get to know learn about her and her works in her website:

So, some of you might already knows her, she’s a shame and vulnerability researcher with almost 13 years of experience in this field. She really is changing my life in the most amazing way.

In her research, she divided thousand of people she interviewed :

1. People w/ strong sense of love and belonging


2. People wondering if they are worthy of love and belonging

So, whats the difference with 1& 2 according to her research?
People who has sense of love and belonging believe that they are worthy of love and belonging.

Thats it! They believe with their core being that they are worthy! The other group don’t or always in doubt or unsure.
The 1st group feel and know they are worthy. They believe in it. So, Breńe use the word wholehearted to describe these people. Wholehearted people living a wholehearted life.

WHOLEHEARTED LIVING “ is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. – Breńe Brown

In her book, she also mentioned how she analysed the stories and looked for reoccurring themes and she realised patterns that described wholehearted living:

Do’s of people who are living wholeheartedly:

  • Authenticity
  • Faith
  • Trust
  • Hope
  • Belonging
  • Gratitude and joy
  • Creativity
  • Rest and play

Dont’s of people who are living wholeheartedly:

  • Perfection
  • Acting  cool
  • Fitting in
  • Self- sufficient
  • Judgement
  • Not being enough
  • Exhaustion

I  believe these list of the DONT’S can lead to insecurity, lack of confidence, doubting ones self, fear. Which all are common to me personally.

Brene Brown was shocked of the analysis because she thought wholehearted people are exactly like her, working hard, following the rules, raising kids exactly by the books. But she’s wrong.
This was definitely my reaction as well when I read her book.

I realised that I am not living a wholehearted life at all and a lot of the DONT’S describes me and my life perfectly.

I try to fit in most of the time

I always have the feeling of not being enough

Exhausted all the time

Hate to ask help if I needed something (self-sufficient)

I am not ______ enough!

We always have this _______ isn’t it?

  • not pretty enough
  • not smart enough
  • not witty enough
  • not spiritual enough
  • not opinionated enough
  • not efficient enough

and the list goes on… and I tried so hard to prove that I am enough that why I am exhausted. Its unending I’m telling you.

Do we believe that we are worthy of Love and belonging?
I found a verse that really speaks to my heart how we are so worthy in our creators eyes:

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days thatwere formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139: 13-16

It was proven in Breńes research and it is in the bible too! I believe God wants us to live a wholehearted life.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10 NIV)

God wants us to live life to the full.

I definitely have a long way in getting my worthiness back. I am excited to transform my life into wholehearted living. I want to be genuine, authentic person, the unique individual God created me to be not the person who want to please people and always want to fit and blend in.
“We are all worthy! its whether we believe it or not. Its easy to “say” we believe but we don’t feel like we are worthy.

Few things in my mind as I end this post:

1. Our worthiness has a lot of things to do with our childhood so its important for us to be aware on that and not to avoid it (cause its painful to go back).

2. Our worthiness comes from ourselves first before others. Though others can help us gain it back.
3. Our worthiness (whether you believe you are worthy or not) dictates how we will be living our lives successfully or miserably.

So we want to know what wholehearted people have in common?

1. Courage
2. Compassion

I  discussed specifically these 3 Cs in this post.
Till next time.
Love, J

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